[211] Disappointment

Though life can be filled with happiness and good times, it comes along with its fair share of disappointments. It really sucks when you plan for something, then wait, anticipating. Next thing you know, something happens that cancels your plans for you.

I remember on multiple occasions, I really wanted to upgrade my phone. I’d grown tired of the one I had, or I’d had the same phone for a few years and wanted a new one. The desire and anticipation of a new phone grew and built up, only to have my hopes shot down by fate. Most of the time it was because of financial concerns—I couldn’t afford a down payment, or I decided I couldn’t shell out the money just then.  Usually, though, when I didn’t upgrade my phone it was because either I really liked the phone (the case of my Galaxy Note 9), or I just decided the upgrades weren’t worth the expense.

I can remember several times when, while out shopping with my family. One kid needed clothes, others needed something else. Every time I thought about getting myself something small, I had to put it back, thinking that my kids came first. This happened within the last 6 years or so. By the end of the day, I had purchased something for every single person in the family, except myself. Sadly, I had become used to this: putting something for myself off in order to get something for someone else. Now that I am right close to 50 (in 2022) and my kids are mostly grown, I’ve decided that I need to take care of myself more, and not put myself in last place anymore. I’ve consulted a doctor about the psoriasis on my leg, for which I was prescribed a cream. Hopefully that will disappear in a couple of weeks. I also need dental work, such as several fillings and a replacement crown. Just the replacement crown is going to run upwards of $600, not counting about six fillings needed, about $150 a pop. I don’t know how I’m going to cough up around $1500 – 2000 to get everything down, but I do need to take care of this. Especially the broken temporary crown in my mouth.

I had been planning to go to an activity in Las Vegas coming up in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, though, I received an announcement that this has been cancelled and hopefully will be rescheduled for some time toward the end of July. I was really looking forward to this activity. I’m unsure of the reason, I heard something about one of the event planners having last minute work and responsibilities for the next couple of weeks or so. I guess it’s better this way. Maybe it will make the encounter all the more worthwhile being rescheduled. I certainly hope this is the case.

In this life, there are many mysteries. Some never get a proper closure; some turn out for the worse. Still others happen for the better. Occasionally when something we highly anticipate gets moved or changed, it makes so that when the event finally does happen, it’s all the more meaningful. I certainly do, indeed, hope that this (the latter) is the case.

“Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.”

Evan Esar

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