Undoubtedly you’ve experienced this before: how long a minute lasts depends upon which side of the bathroom door you’re on. When you’re the one in the bathroom, a minute is quick. If you’re the unlucky soul doing the potty dance, about to pee your pants, a minute seems to take forever.

Having to be quarantined, stuck at home because of a positive coronavirus result, is a similar concept. In Utah, if you get a positive result, you are required to isolate yourself for 10 days if you don’t feel any symptoms. If you have a fever, you have to be I think 2 days without fever, unaided by medications during that 10-day period. I took my test last Friday, 11 Dec, so I’m on day 8 now. Monday is the magical tenth day, and after that I can roam freely, albeit still following the mask and distancing things. I have no problems with that, since I don’t like anyone being too close to me–I need my personal “bubble”. Also, the mask hides my “resting bitch face” (can guys have RBF, or is it a different term?🤔) and, as Carlin once joked, “severe appearance deficit”😂.

Something else that totally bites about spending two weeks at home: no paycheck. This happens, as Murphy’s Law would dictate, at the worst time of the year. Right when I was planning to get my kids’ Christmas presents and the ingredients for Christmas dinner, I get the damned corona and miss all this work. Hopefully my vacation pay from work will allow me to at least accomplish something🤞.

My plan for Christmas dinner is just like last year: prime rib. This is the week that the stores have prime rib roasts on sale; $5.99/lb, compared to usually twice that much. Accompanying the roast will be some horseradish for those who prefer it, mashed potatoes, possibly some stuffing, sliced pineapple and rolls. I’m also toying with the idea of corn on the cob. Since there’s downtime while baking the prime rib, I’ll be boiling spuds for the mash. I usually use instant, but it’s a special occasion and actual potatoes taste so much better. The stuffing will be Stove Top boxed and the sliced pineapple will not come from a can. I think Kroger—Smith’s in Utah—has pineapples on sale in the produce aisle this week as well. Do you like King’s Hawaiian rolls? Those are the ones I’m thinking of. The corn on the cob will be cheating for me, since I’m going to get frozen ones. I don’t plan on being in the kitchen for the entirety of Christmas, especially since I’m gonna end up working that week after Christmas because the fucking coronavirus changed my plans against my will🤬.

What are your plans for Christmas dinner? Leave a comment! Will you be cooking your little feast? Will you buy a prepared meal? Or will you just say screw it and not have anything in particular? Do whatever you will, but please make sure you eat something every day and stay hydrated!

Here is your quote for today:

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.”

– Dalai Lama