Sick [And Tired]

I may have mentioned this before, but during the week of Thanksgiving, when I worked 60 hours, I wanted to just throw my right arm away. Right now, I’d kinda like to throw the whole body away. Okay, don’t come at me saying “Oh, but some people are much worse off than you!” I know this! I’m not belittling their plights, but this is my forum to bitch if I want to.

Thanksgiving week, we bake lots of pies for Cracker Barrel. This year there were some 300 pies, between pecan, chocolate pecan and apple pecan streusel (why do Southerners love pecans so fucking much?). For every three pecan pies, there was a bag of pie filling—basically a 4-lb bag of corn syrup. Multiply that by like 85. After opening 80+ bags of pie filling and squeezing the contents into the pie shells, my wrist was killing me. It’s so wonderful to overuse a joint and suffer later! Between that and the normal pain in my upper arm, I just wanted to rip the damn thing off and get rid of it. Unfortunately, I’m right-handed, so I’d have to re-learn everything. Isn’t it funny how we have one hand that can do seemingly everything, while the other one just kinda sits there like Patrick Star: “DDDDUUUUUHHHHHH!”

More recently, on the day after taking my daughter to McCarran Airport in Las Vegas (she flew back to Kansas), I ended up sleeping for like 12 hours, then had absolutely no ambition to do jack-diddly-squat. I only got out of bed to take my cat to the vet and get some meds at Walmart. On top of that, I really didn’t have an appetite. Most likely, it was a cold or allergies, since I did not have a fever and I could still smell and taste things. Lately, the weather has been wacky and the wind has been blowing like crazy, and that seems to exacerbate my allergies.

Luckily for me, I am able to eat cheese and other dairy without issues. We just learned this last week that my 15-year-old son most likely has developed lactose intolerance. I read that it can strike out of the blue, and he’s been fine up until last week. It started when he ate some apple pie with whipped cream, and it upset his stomach. He thought the pie was bad, so I ate some without problems. Wednesday morning, before going to the airport, I took my kids to breakfast. He had an omelet with cheese, and that triggered him, as well. After taking some Lactaid, he said he was feeling better, albeit quite gassy🌬😖🤢😵. On the drive to Vegas, we had to open the windows a couple of times to ward off the vile stench. That reminds me of something George Carlin once said: “a fart is shit without the mess”. Returning from the sidebar, I told my son to lay off the dairy for a couple of days and try something again afterwards to see if it upsets his stomach. I would absolutely hate to be lactose intolerant: I love cheese, whipped cream, ice cream and other things dairy. He is the same way, so he is hating life right now. I told him if he were to eat something dairy, to take one of those Lactaid pills right before. As far as I know I don’t have any food allergies, and holy shit, it must suck to have one.

They say laughter is the best medicine, so here’s a humorous quote for today:

“Being sick is just your body’s way of saying you’re way too awesome, and you need to slow down so everyone else can catch up.”

Author Unknown

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