If 2020 Was…

This year has definitely been an interesting one…oh, who am kidding? 2020 has been one huge shit show. I’m sure you’ve seen the memes describing the year. To think, we still have 40 days to endure before we ring in 2021, even though my personal opinion is that things are going to get much worse. I hope I’m dead wrong, but so much is going to go south next year. I have already saved a post for my weekly blog talking about that—it has yet to publish, though, as it lacks a few aesthetic touches, like graphics.

So, how has 2020 been described? You’ve seen the memes. They’re the ones that go “If 2020 was…” You can search the memes if you desire, but I am going to over some of them here.

If 2020 was a perfume, it would be a porta-potty fire. Mmm. I just love the smell of a huge pot of burning fecal matter💩.

If 2020 was a slide, it would have a cheese grater on the end. Yup. Start having fun, but then get your ass ground up finely. Sounds about right.

If 2020 was Mexican food, it would be a plate of saltine crackers, piled high with lots of melted American singles slices. Breakfast of champions right there🤮!

If 2020 was a sex toy, it would either be made of the aforementioned cheese grater material, or it would be a spiny cactus🌵. Oof. That would hurt like hell😵!

If 2020 was a flavor of chips, it would have to be something like orange juice and toothpaste.

If 2020 was a drink, it would be a colonoscopy prep. Yum, nice and smooth!

If 2020 was a person, it would be Billy the Saw Puppet. “Hello, I wanna play a game.”

Speaking of Saw, If 2020 was a game, it would be one of John Kramer’s (“Jigsaw” from the Saw franchise) fun little games.

If 2020 was described by a sound, it would be either fingernails on a chalkboard, a metal fork scraping a metal mixing bowl, or a fork scraping a ceramic plate. Or whatever annoying sound gives you the creepy-crawlies.

If 2020 was a chair, it’d be one whose seat and back are completely covered with hypodermic needles or razor-thin shards of broken glass.

If 2020 was a snack, it would be a caramel-covered onion🤬.

If 2020 was a restaurant meal, it would be an extra-well-done steak, garnished with medium rare chicken livers, topped with American “cheese” with a side of spoiled turnip greens and a rotten potato (topped with curdled sour cream and more American slices)🤮🤮🤮🤮.

Okay, last one for now: if 2020 was a choker necklace, it would be made up of razor wire. That would be just “bloody” awesome🩸!

Now, here is the quote of the day:

“If everyone had known 2020 was gonna fuck them so badly, they would have hoarded Vaseline and K-Y rather than toilet paper!”

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