I was beginning to write my daily post, but I’ve suddenly lost the inspiration. I’ll continue it another time. Other things are more on my mind now.

I’m not writing this looking for attention. I just feel there are some things I need to get off my chest. First of all, I’m not sure why it is that Sundays at work lately are becoming a huge struggle for me. Things usually start fine, but around 10:30 – 11:30 is when things go south for me. Other weeks, it’s because I feel like I hit a brick wall and I lose ambition and concentration.

Today, however, the manager changed things up and put some people in different places. Unfortunately, that did not work out well. I really can’t put my finger on one particular thing that made it such a shit show. I would say that it was a series of events that snowballed into one huge clusterfuck. I can see pieces, but not the whole puzzle. One thing was that it seemed like all the order tickets printed on my side (we run two grills on weekend mornings), and I got no offers of help from the other grill. I kept watching to see if they would at least ask if I needed help. The person plating the food to send out was doing their best to keep food from getting cold. I was cooking on the grill, while cooking eggs almost by myself. I finally lost my shit and that’s when I finally got a little bit of assistance. Eventually things improved some, but for me, the damage had already been done. I just stopped caring about how long orders took—instead of working 2 or 3 tickets at one time, I did them one by one, no matter how backlogged things got.

Once I got home, the shit show continued. If there’s one thing that ruins my anywhere-decent mood, it’s drama. And drama at home seems to be a never-ending struggle. My 15-year-old son and his mom are constantly butting heads. She has this OCD about the house being constantly clean and organized; he would just as soon never see her throughout the day. He thinks no one should go into his room unannounced. No one is invading anyone’s privacy, his mom just thinks every square inch of the house should be immaculate and organized to her standards. Both of them have that hair-trigger Latin attitude, so they clash nearly every day. I am more laid-back about some things, and I don’t care if there’s a little mess here or there (after all, when I was little, my bedroom was freaking insane—there was a trail of empty space on the floor to walk on, the rest was covered in miscellaneous crap). I keep hoping for the day that the drama will end one way or another, but that day has yet to appear. How might the drama cease? Maybe they’ll get along someday, maybe things will improve once my existence has been extinguished. Along with other things I don’t wish to discuss, I feel the latter would be the most desirable option.

I leave you now with this quote for the day:

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”

George Carlin

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