Spicy🥵🥵

The other day I was at the gas station getting my energy drinks for work, and while in line, I looked at the bags of chips for sale. Most of what I saw were spicy chips. There was jalapeño cheddar, flaming hot, extra flaming hot, chile lime and who-knows-how-many others. I was hard pressed to find a normal bag of chips. If I wanted a cheddar and sour cream, barbeque, or salt and vinegar, I would have been pretty much shit outta luck.

What is the fascination with things spicy? Though I like a little bit of spicy to give food some flavor, I don’t like the kind that eradicates my taste buds and burns by stomach into oblivion. If I eat too much spice, my acid reflux goes into overdrive. I already hate heartburn and the accompanying stomach acid in the throat. I don’t need to exacerbate the problem with hot chips.

I never understood what the deal is, people wanting to eat spicier and spicier food. I don’t get the whole “one chip challenge”, where a person tries to eat one tortilla chip coated with Carolina Reaper seasoning. If you don’t know, the Carolina Reaper was the world’s hottest pepper in 2017, clocking in at around 1.5 million – 2.2 million Scoville heat units (SHU). The Scoville scale measures a pepper’s heat. By comparison, the jalapeño registers a measly 2500 – 8000 SHU; habaneros sit at a slightly sweaty 100,000 – 350,000 SHU. Ghost peppers come in at around a million SHU. So, the Carolina Reaper is about twice the pungency of a ghost pepper. Unofficially, there are Dragon’s Breath and Pepper X, both of which are around twice as hot as the Carolina Reaper. Pepper X is so hot that it would probably kill you if you ate it. Some experts think that you would choke or go into anaphylactic shock if you were to consume Pepper X. The oil from this pepper is being looked at as a possible anesthetic, as contact with skin numbs it😱 (that’s how hot this fucker is).

There is a diner that sells chicken wings, and they have a slew of sauces you can get with those wings, ranging from mild to brutally spicy. In fact, their spiciest sauce has to be made while wearing a hazmat suit, since breathing the fumes causes irritation. Anyone who wants that must sign a waiver and their wing gets all of three little drops of the sauce. Of course, there’s plenty of milk hanging around!

Ugh! Just thinking about all this is making my throat burn🥵🥵. I think I need some Tums now😵. Tums and Nexium are two of my best friends, since they help keep my acid reflux in check.

Here is the quote of the day:

“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I’m taking with me when I go.”

Erma Bombeck

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