Have you ever heard someone talk, and you wish they’d just shut the fuck up? They talk, and their voice is like nails on a chalkboard. The pitch of their voice or the way they talk drives you to want to either strangle them or off yourself.

There’s a woman who does a radio morning show here in southern Utah whose voice I can’t stand. She was originally hired on while at a different station owned by the same broadcast company after she temped as a “guest DJ”. You can tell this woman is totally an extrovert, just by the way she talks. She has an annoying pitch to her voice, and she talks fast, at a speed like an amateur auctioneer. Even in normal conversation, this woman would end up talking over anyone else.

There are a few women I work with that I wish I could duct tape their mouths shut. I won’t go into details about their positions, ages or whatnot. Suffice it to say that these people are constantly talking, jabbering or yelling at everyone else. They are loud, obnoxious and once they start talking, there’s no shutting them up. I can’t even pin down something they have in common, to see if there’s any correlation. Differing political standpoints, differing religious views (I think), and I’m not sure of holiday preferences. And then there’s one who is nothing but an annoying diva who thinks they’re God’s gift to the workplace, and another who sings really loudly, ruining every song they try to imitate badly.

When I think of annoying people, there’s one dude I used to work with that comes to mind. This guy was like a certified wacko, always yelling gibberish and nonsense. No one has to worry about him, as he got sent to prison for child molestation. I wish they would put him in general population of prison, so that Bubba could make him his new bitch. That guy should be raped, tortured and have several large, cumbersome objects shoved up his asshole. He should also have his penis sliced lengthwise with an X-acto knife and then pour Drāno and alcohol on the open wound and leave him to writhe in pain, then repeat a few hours later. All the while, a speaker plays Nickelback and Justin Bieber on loop. You know, to maximize the suffering. Killing him would be the easy way out for a sicko like that. I have absolutely zero respect, and a complete hatred of pedophiles. Anyone who molests kids should be raped, tortured and made to suffer as much as possible.

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