Me, the Introvert

Sometimes trying to come up with a topic to write about, that doesn’t involve work, can be a challenge. But what else can I write about practically? Work is something that I do nearly every day. That’s my life: work and home. I’m a huge homebody—I have no social life (we introverts are weird like that), and I really have no friends to speak of who live close by.

Most of the time, having the money to do something is a challenge, especially when you live paycheck to paycheck. Usually, there’s too much month at the end of the money. One of the reasons I could never be a server at work is having to approach and talk to people. I have a hard time striking conversation. That’s also why I would never be able to get into the dating scene, ever.

I never dated anyone throughout high school, though I did have a crush on a few of the girls. Unfortunately, my awkward, timid, introverted ass never mustered the courage to actually talk to any of them. So, I never dated. Hell, I never even went to a school dance. Not the normal ones, not “Preference” or Sadie Hawkins. No girl ever asked me—big surprise there🙄. No one really knew me🤣. I never went to prom, because awkwardness for me, and there always was (and still exists today, to some extent) this fear of rejection. I already didn’t have self-esteem to speak of, and if a girl were to tell me no, it would’ve knocked me down even further. Additionally, the girls I might have been interested in going with already had dates🤷‍♂️. I did attend a dance in college, but I remained over by the wall. I never asked anyone; I just kind of listened to the music, watching people dance. So, yeah, prom would’ve been a “no bueno” for me, anyway.

Being extremely introverted, I hate being the center of attention. Extroverts, on the other hand, crave the attention and socializing. It’s not to say I can’t attend anything social, it just takes me some quiet time to recharge. I have some people at work fooled when I tell them I’m introverted. Amongst those with whom I’m comfortable, I can be rather talkative and loud. In places like Walmart, I always opt for the self-checkout, to avoid as much human interaction as possible.

Of course, you also have those people who are equally extroverted and introverted. They are the ambiverts or omniverts. They do fine in either scenario. Once I took one of those online personality quizzes, and my level of introversion came out at like 99%. I am about as introverted as they come. I think if I ever somehow got into a relationship with a “social butterfly” who “wears their heart on their sleeve”, first of all, I’d dread my existence even more than I already do; there would always be a disagreement about going out versus staying home; or said relationship would never happen in the first place.

To round out this post, here is the quote of the day:

“I was an introverted kid; I liked my time alone. And the rest of my family is pretty extroverted, so I felt like a bit of an oddball. They’re very gregarious and charming and charismatic people. I always felt like I was struggling as a young person. I think everyone was very surprised to hear that I wanted to be an actor.”

Mark Ruffalo

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