Driving Stupidly

When you’re out driving in traffic, have you ever wanted to just slap the shit out of the other drivers? I know traffic in many large cities is horrendous, but the people in southern Utah are a whole different breed. Many of them make me wish I drove a bumper car, so that I could just ram right into their cars, without damaging my own.

Drivers here are extremely selfish. When merging onto the freeway, first of all, the entering car does not usually speed up. I mean, it’s called an “acceleration lane” for a reason. You’re supposed to get to freeway speed so that when you merge into traffic, you’re already matching everyone else. Then there’s the insipid blinker. Either people don’t use it, or they think it’s an automatic license to move over. Like, “Move, bitch, I’m coming over, like it or not!” Along that line, the cars on the freeway, if they don’t move over, will stay in their lane and refuse to let the entering car in front of them. Hey, douchebag, the lane is not your birthright! Slow down and let someone in front of you. Oh, wait, that’s the logical thing to do🤦‍♂️.

Drivers in Utah also have this notion that if there’s a cop on the shoulder, they need to automatically move over and slam on their brakes. Um, you slow down, fine, but only move over if you’re not going to cause a fucking accident! Oh, just because you see a cop, it doesn’t mean you automatically have to decelerate to 15 below the speed limit. If you’re not speeding, just casually keep going. Would everyone not be able to drive if they actually used the brains God gave them? Maybe that would be sensory overload for their diminutive cranial capacity🤔.

And why is it that I always see traffic stopped for a green light? Or people hitting their brakes when approaching a green light? Did I miss something? Did a new law get passed where you must stop for a green light as well? Are people riding the brake, in case the light changes when they’re on top of the intersection so they can slam their brakes, in turn practically causing a chain-reaction accident, or attempt to back up to get out of the intersection? Hey, guess what? If you’re too close to the intersection to stop safely in time when the light changes, it’s okay to go through a yellow light. And some of these signals will hold the yellow if the camera sees a car coming too fast to stop. I swear some of these people on the road got their license out of a Cracker Jack box!

Now for some positivity, in the form of today’s motivational quote:

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

Walt Disney

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